I was thinking about the fact that it’s hardly possible to be in someone’s life who doesn’t want to be in yours, or to be in any kind of relationship with someone who doesn’t equally want to be with you. And similarly, I was agreeing that it’s not possible for someone to substantively be in my life if I don’t want them in it either…
So I wondered; what do we do with unpermitted love? We work hard to get rid of it, we do what is called “getting over” that person, forgetting them, focusing on other things/people – or simply put – we move on. Because the completion of love comes with reciprocity right? It quite literally doesn’t help anyone when the love is one sided – neither the loved nor the lover… to the lover it hurts to love someone and equally be aware that this person does not find you worthy of the same love, and to the loved it is burdensome to have someone show you and require of you that which you’re unable to offer…
So I wondered, is love then transactional? Is love only allowed to stay alive when it can be reciprocated? Because anytime it can’t be reciprocated we “move on” right? Until we find someone that does eventually reciprocate… so is this eventual love pure or just viable? In my years as a proclaimed hopeless romantic, I’ve believed that love would be a magical occurrence where you suddenly ‘find the one’… but is it really? If sometimes you conclude that you’ve found the one in the person that walks away instead.
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